Real Chat: Things I’m Afraid to Tell You

May 5, 2012

(via Creature Comforts)

Part of the reason I started this series was due to a few comments I had from other bloggers that eluded to the fact that they thought I must have the perfect life. What?! Hold the phone. No one has a perfect life. I realized it was time to get REAL and CHAT about real life topics. This theme seems to be floating around the blogosphere, and I was so thankful that Jess Constable wrote this post, which inspired Ez’s “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You” Challenge. I hope you can take the time to visit a few of the incredible women pulling back the curtain to some of their real life challenges.

I started this blog as a creative outsource for me, and it remains such. My goal is to inspire and uplift. I tend to think people don’t like to read about dirty laundry when they have their own to deal with. For me, I gravitate torwards friendships that leave me with a smile, uplift the spirit, encourage, or inspire creativity. Its the same when I choose which blogs to read. However, I think sometimes, as we talked about last week, there can be too much of a good thing. You start to believe crazy things like you MUST have a big bouquet of pink peonies on your table at all times, that your kids should have white fur rugs in their room, and that you should a closet full of DVF and Christian Louboutins. Sometimes, instead of being inspired, we start to compare. So now its my turn to break down some of those false ideas you might have about me and my life…

1) I am not very domestic. I tend to lean towards meals with 5 ingredients only. I am terrible at deep cleaning. My husband does a better job cleaning the kitchen than I do. I do laundry only once a week. The thought of having to fold more than a few baskets a week makes me want to hide. If you open my drawers, they are messy. I have a messy art mind. The majority of the time if you knocked on my front door, I would be running around picking up toys before I answered.

2) Sometimes as I am working, my kids are running around me in circles! I will have a little one at my feet, and my toddler begging me to play a game with him. I am blessed to be able to work at home with my kids, but it also can give me so much guilt of being home, but not being able to give them all the time I want to. I want to be able to be 100% there for them. Someday…

3) I am a graphic designer and a blogger. I love both. However, I will never love them more than my children. This is why the above can be is so hard for me at times. I actually can’t wait for the day I can be a full time stay at home mama. Many women have great ambitions with their careers. Mine is simply to pay off student loans and medical debt so that I can be closer to my children. My husband is an incredible teacher. We have decided together that it is what he is meant to do, and we make the financial sacrifice for it. We both work hard to pay our debt off, and this is why I work. We are blessed to have a wonderful marriage though, so I would rather have the struggle of finances.

4) I blog often about products and fashion….all of which I genuinely love, but in reality I am a curator for others. I only allow myself to buy a few things per month. The rest goes towards bills. As you know from my outfit posts, I get creative. I thrift, re-purpose, and pull from all the amazing clothes I still have from when I worked at J. Crew;) I buy all my kids clothes from a consignment store. By creating style boards and featuring favorite product finds, I feel as though I can get it out of my system without having to buy:) There’s my secret.

5) My house is not fully decorated….its not even fully furnished. Since the move, we are taking one room at a time, and adding furniture piece by piece. I do not have the interior design gift. It takes me forever to figure out how I want to style a room, and because of this I have blank walls everywhere but my family room and spare room. We are renting our home and hope to someday buy some land and settle near our family.

I could keep this list going, but I applaud you for reading this far. I hope you can relate in some way, and know that every person always has a struggle, and no one has a perfect life. We have that ability to encourage each other and help each other through these topics, and that is why I am choosing to be vulnerable with you! It actually felt really good to write it all out;) My blog will always be a reflection of what I love, and I will always seek to uplift and inspire, because that is what makes it worth it for me. But now you know a little more of the who behind all the pretty:)

Okay time to wrap it up….my daughter just dumped a whole bottle of water on the carpet….

If you are up for it, write your own “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You” post & link it with Jess and Ez!

Leave a Comment

  • What a great topic…thanks for being so real! I can relate to you on so many things, especially the bills and the home furnishings. Saving my pennies and one piece at time here too!

  • Anna, I absolutely love this. Thank you for your honesty. It is so nice to know that I am not the only one with a fear of laundry- my husband folded 2 huge baskets for me last night because he knows me 🙂

  • This is a great post and very honest!
    flairbybrandi.blogspot.com

  • you are awesome… i think being able to embrace and be okay with who you really are makes you even cooler.

    hoorah for husbands who clean better than us! 🙂 we make their lives prettier in ways other than a sparkly ktichen. 🙂

  • Love this! Thank you so much for sharing. I honestly have to applaud you because I think your posts really do reflect a sense of reality. Sometimes I get a little sick of all the beautiful posts that are all about “go out and buy this really expensive thing!” I think you do a wonderful job of showing how you can reasonably and affordably and cREATIVELY look stunner! 🙂

  • Your beauty shines!!

    I hate cleaning. Entertaining really scares me, I feel like I will never be clean enough to host people, and then I always over purchase food, leaving us with tons of leftovers. Before anyone comes over, I try not to turn into a “crazy cleaning lady.”

    So excited for the day the dream comes true for you to be at home with the kids 100% – and praying that it happens quicker than you imagined!

  • I simply love this post Anna! Read very word, thank you for sharing a ill bit about yourself. I think I might join in too!

  • oh Anna..I LOVED THIS. and Stephen cleans sooooo much better than i do..im a horrible cleaner..what looks clean to me is apparantley not clean to others/normal people.

    but i would like to ditto Lauren (aspiring kennedy).

  • What a great post, full of sincere honesty 🙂

  • Thanks you for your honesty! I do like reading blogs where everything seems to be perfect and happy, just because they inspire me to make my life more organized, my house prettier and to buy nicer clothes. Although in reality there is often a lack of money and a priority on work and school, so it’s good to hear I am not the only one who is still trying to get there 🙂

  • beautiful post and thank you for your honesty. be blessed beyond measure!

  • totally relate to the finances. ugh, what a struggle. you do a great job looking amazing on a shoestring – truly an inspiration. a little creativity goes a long way! which is why your blog and pinterest boards are on my list of my faves. i am also an avid thrifter, repuroser, target clearance rack sifter, and kids consignment shop frequenter : )

  • What a gorgeous post! It’s so important to be honest with each other so we don’t all log off each other’s blogs feeling terrible about out takeaway dinner and messy bedroom floor =)

  • Dear Anna, you’re a lot like me! I think, artists who are good house-cleaners are very rare indeed! I too love my kids above my work and even above my art, yet, doing what we do makes us better moms. Because kids LOVE a creative atmosphere and mums who do cool stuff! And, to be RALLY honest – you’re a GRAET blogger, designer and fashionista – cheers to you!

  • Anna, this was wonderful. It’s always comforting to know that everyone else has tough points sometime or another. I’m like you! I always try to put on that happy face, even if it’s not the greatest day in the world. When I do try to act happier, though, it sometimes tricks me into a better mood. I feed off of happiness, especially from people like you. I have mistakes (big and small) just about every day. I wouldn’t change it. because that would mean a complete change of personality.

    I hope you get to be a full time mama very soon!

  • What a great post ! I too would like to spend my days as a stay at home mom, I never expected it before I got kids. Have I knew, I don’t know if I would have gone through law school. I’m happy to be a lawyer and I love my job, but my 2 boys are my everything !

  • Gosh I loved this post!!! Thanks for your honesty and sincerity. I’m not a mom yet, but I definitely share some of the same feelings you have. I think I’m going to write a post as well!

  • So great. Getting real is awesome, but I also love that when you’re blogging, you can choose to focus on the positive organized chic version of yourself and save the rest for offline. Have a great weekend, Anna! 🙂

  • Oh Darling Anna…I think I just loved you that tiny bit more. Basically what your saying is ..you are real…a real mum..with real life struggles…which only makes us other mothers…feel all the more real with you.
    My mum always used to say…You run the house…Dont let the house run you.

    Had to give you a virtual high five for the washing comment…I cringe at the amount of washing we have build up each week…its my most loathed chore in the home..lol

    LOVE is the most important of all…and this you have an abundance of ….that is ALL that matters darling…truly.

    Sending big hugs..and Thank you for sharing and baring a little of your vunerabilities…x

  • Thank you for this post Anna. While it’s true that I am happy with my life, seeing other family blogs far better off than me makes me think that I am insufficient or not good enough. The feeling can be quite addicting sometimes but as you said, we are all in a unique journey that to compare would just ruin the whole experience. Now, i’d like to think that I read blogs to be inspired and get creative as well.

  • A lot of bloggers look like they have a perfect life but it’s safe to say that no one’s life is perfect. Thank you for doing this post!

    KatiesBliss.com

  • Wow. I already read your blog every day, but now I feel like I actually know who I am reading about. This is awesome!! I think I will try this myself. Thanks for being so honest!

    Prudence
    http://www.perfectlypeculiarblog.com

  • Love this post Anna! I have always tried to keep things real on my little old blog. It would be easy to make up stories, take beautiful pictures (the mess is in the other corner), and pretend life is perfect. But, truth be told…I find that rather boring!

  • I love this! Sometimes so many bloggers unintentionally portray a false reality… No one is perfect.. Love your honesty girl xoxo

  • lovely post- valuable and true. such power in it. keep going — you enrich your readers.

  • Thanks for being so open. It’s very inspiring!

    -Amy
    http://theblankpagesblog.blogspot.com/

  • this is such a great thing to do… they say that not until you see things in writing you get to realize everything happening around you… I’m sort of doing that as I redo my resume to meet with some people next week… I suddenly found myself without anything to say about my professional accomplishments and I’m talking about my career… ha!

    Hope you’re having an amazing weekend!

  • Fantastic post Anna – I don’t know how moms are bloggers (seriously). So much going on, but you seem to do a great job balancing things. I love seeing your creativity through your blog (and I also take forever to make design decisions!)

  • loved this post!

  • Anna, it’s a pity that many readers assume that since you choose to focus only on the positive aspect of your life, yours must be a perfect one.

    Love this post. There is so much to us than what we have on our blogs. you and I, for example, have been commenting on each other’s blogs for almost 3 years now. But how much of our lives do we really share? So glad you’ve shared some snippets of real life.

    Hugs,
    Prati

  • Thank you for this post, Anna! You’re so right: we often start to think that certain bloggers must have the most fab, organized live ever. And don’t get me wrong, your life looks pretty lovely from what you post, but I think what shines through in your corner of the blogosphere is your sincerity, your faith, and your love. It’s a nice balance that can be lost elsewhere, and certianly something that can be challenging when the illusion of perfection is so pervasive. So thank you for being such a gem and fabulous woman, regardless of the state of your home or craft room. 😉

  • My goodness, are we twins? I hate putting away the laundry too.

    Thanks for being so real Anna. None of us have a perfect life an it’s nice to know that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

  • Hi Anna! I missed this post over the weekend, so I’m really happy that I caught it today. I love your blog for all of its inspiration, and uplifting, positive feel! Thanks for sharing a little behind the scenes 🙂 However, I can’t imagine any mom of two little ones having it all together! What I think is incredible about you, is that you manage to have a real life as well as bring forth your creativity, inspiration, loves, and ideas in a place where you can share it with others. For myself, my blog is not a place where I vent…it’s a place where I reflect on the good stuff in my life and share the joy of living. That doesn’t negate hardships, which I filter in once in a while, especially if they are at the forefront of my day – but on the most part, the beauty of my days is what I focus on, so that’s what I share, in hopes that it will also uplift and encourage others to focus on the beauty in their lives as well.

    Love what you do Anna! xo

  • Anna this post is so good! I love your transparency and am thankful you addressed the fact that no one’s life is perfect! I love that you are so creative with your outfits and pull from things that you already have, plus the amazing thrif finds! Thanks for sharing these things 🙂

  • You are so precious. I know your readers love this! It’s so nice to remember we’re not all perfect. We can only do what we do! And love our crazies lives along the way : ) Great post! xo

  • Thanks so much for sharing. It’s so true that it’s easy to get caught up reading blogs and start comparing or wanting more.

    “One reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the- scenes with other people’s highlight reel” So true in blogland!

    Sometimes I take a break for a bit from certain blogs when I get overwhelmed by the product features. I always love coming here though 🙂 xoxo

  • Thanks for sharing. While I know that nobody has a perfect life, sometimes it’s easy to forget that when I’m reading other’s blogs.

    My husband is better at cleaning too. I don’t mind laundry (although I do it less often then you b/c we don’t have a washer and dryer), but I hate doing dishes. My house is partially furnished too! I always like knowing I’m not alone on that one. 😉

  • I can relate to the “messy art brain” and can’t wait to tell my husband that’s what I have. You summed up my head in a nut shell. Thank you for that:)

    I love that your blog is uplifting and inspiring. I know I come to your blog for such that. We all have struggles in life. Your blog helps people get out of the slump, dream big and move on their way.

    Thanks Anna!

  • anna, you’re honesty is so inspiring! reading this reminds me to count my blessing – we, too, are on a tight budget so that i can stay home & therefore we “dream” a lot more than we actually do when it comes to our home, wardrobe, etc… 😉 the fact that you put together such gorgeous outfits on a limited income makes me admire your creativity even more!

  • Wow thank you for your honesty Anne! So refreshing and encouraging. I love that you acknowledge that although paying of student debt is frustrating (I’m in the same boat) having a solid relationship with your hubs and family is more important!

  • furnished house or not, dvf or not, domestic or not..people adore you because you are so incredibly kind and sincere..that’s the reason why i come to IHOD 🙂

  • I really enjoyed reading this post Anna. It’s so easy to forget that bloggers try to show the best and happiest of themselves on their blog so people often assume they and their lives are perfect. I know I generally try to keep my blog as my happy place but it is refreshing sometimes to just let the guard down and freely share what’s going on. Inspired by this, I will definitely have to do my own little version. Thanks again! -JB.

    http://madewithlovebyjackieb.blogspot.co.uk/

  • Oh I also wanted to share with you this post-

    http://madewithlovebyjackieb.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/happy-birthday-london.html

    It’s probably one of the scariest things Ive ever done (sharing it online) but got really encouraging replies. I think sometimes it’s crucial to speak the truth, even if it’s scary and not so pretty. -JB.

  • Really great post Anna. Thanks for your sincerity & honesty. Keep it up girl – you ROCK!
    -JG

  • I can’t believe i missed this! We are so alike! I feel like a total mess most of the time. I don’t remember it being this bad before having kids. It is certainly a lot to juggle! I can’t imagine how bad it’s going to be with two.

    And I love that you say, it’s worth the struggle of finances. My husband being an architect has had some really tough times the past few years. But we can’t imagine him doing anything else. He really is MEANT to be an architect. It’s been a struggle, but I know it’s worth it because he is happier.

    Thank you Anna!

  • SO beautiful!!!

    Loved every bit of it! 🙂

    You are one amazing strong women! xo

    Mon

    thedoctorscloset.com

  • I love reading this – and all these “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You” posts. You are so brave for posting 🙂 And I can totally relate to so many of the things that you mentioned! I am horribly undomestic. And horrible at cleaning! Thanks for sharing your “real person-ness” with us! I love that you use your fashion tips as a way to get it all out of your system – such a great idea!

  • i have been eating these real chats up. it’s been an enlightening trip and was such a good hat throw getting like-minded girls to feel safer about opening themselves up like this.

    Anna, your share is very moving. i do relate and sincerely wish your movement towards staying at home happens organically and real soon!! you’ve put it out there and have reached such mass success in all that you do, i know your settle spot will happen and it’ll be pure magic (just like YOU) when it does. xo ♥

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