6 Years of Marriage + 6 Ways to keep the Flame Lit.

July 11, 2014

6 Ways to Keep the Flame Lit | IHOD

6 Ways to keep the Flame Lit | In Honor of Design

When you first starting dating and enter your first year of marriage, there is a “fire” and excitement that is often called the Honeymoon Phase. I can honestly say that Anna and I, thanks be to God, have not lost this excitement after 6 years. It has changed and matured, as all things should overtime, and as such that fire has grown, not diminished. I think this is due to a commitment to seek the happiness of the other person before yourself. I believe that this is best made apparent to her through consistent and small ways throughout the week. So, here are six practical things I try to do to let Anna know I love her…

1. Give one honest random compliment daily.
This does not mean things such as “thank you for this great dinner” or “you are very beautiful.” Although these are very important, a compliment such as “I love how your hair curls in the summer” or “That top looks great on you” or even as silly as “Have I ever told you how cute your ears are?” Show her that you are being attentive and notice and appreciate subtle nuances about her.

2. Regularly set a good drink in front of her. (wink wink)
This could be a cocktail she really likes, or in Anna’s case a fresh cup of coffee or homemade glass of fresh lemonade. (Or as of late, a homemade microwave s’more works well also.) The key is that the drink is something that you put effort into just for her enjoyment. 

3. Clean the kitchen and high traffic areas, especially if she is out of the house.
I have noticed that Anna truly appreciates this, especially on days where the kids where, lets say “overly energetic”. I want her to know that I appreciate her efforts and that I am her support and partner in the challenges of life.

4. If you have children, or if she has had a long day, give her some quiet time to decompress.
Take the kids to the park, or take the dog on a walk when you get home from work so she has some quite time, even if you have had a hard day. An act of loving self sacrifice rarely returns void. This would also be a great time to provide that drink mentioned above.

5. Frame your words carefully when in a discussion.
Few things can cut deeper, than ill placed reactionary words. We try to avoid criticizing each other and using words like “always” and “never” because they can make the other feel less of themselves and immediately bring out defenses. The habit of discussion over accusation ensures the other person you still care deeply for them and want to talk through an issue.

6. Just grab her and dance, just for a moment.
Whether there is music or not, it tells her that she is desired and still pursued. Or course, a little pinch on the rear never hurts either.

– Gabe

*Also, Dating through your Marriage and One habit we commit to.

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