When the end of January rolls around, I usually feel the need to throw a party…because well, we survived. January is that long month of holiday withdrawal, cabin fever, stir-crazy month that tries to convince you that spring is so very far away. When you have little ones in your care, you have to make the conscious effort to make the most of it, and not let it keep you down.
It has been a long month over here with little Rocco being sick back to back (he gets loved on all the time from his siblings which might have something to do with it;)). The result is one sleep deprived mother. I have learned that it’s basically not safe to speak when you are sleep deprived. Chances are, nothing good comes out of your mouth, and by the end of the day, you are all out of love and kindness. I have realized that you get a really good glimpse of your limitations when you are tired. Am I right?? My greatest pride in this life, and the people I love most are my children. I consider them my most important work. However, sometimes it’s like….so hard to be stuck indoors with them.
So it dawned on me. Often times, the people we love most are the hardest to live with. Whether it be a sister, mother, best friend, husband, or our own children. We love them so dearly, that we are equally frustrated or angry when they disappoint us. For instance, I have three very strong willed children and a docile (so far) chubby baby. They are all extremely different, but each of them have are super sweet with a side of stubborn. We work on it daily, but there were definitely a few mornings last week where I was ready to raise the white flag…….right after Max drew with marker on the wall, and Veronica scowled at me for the 24th time that day. I was so angry that they just wouldn’t get the lesson or cut me a break. The truth is though, it was me that needed a check point. I had run out of patience and love and all those things because you know……sleep deprivation and not enough grace and coffee.
These little babes in my care were given to me to mother. I get the privilege of getting to show them the beauty of the world and all that it holds for them. I get to see them learn right from wrong and choose to use it for good. I have the honor of holding them close when they don’t feel well, encouraging them to conquer their fears, and see their face light up when they realize they have accomplished something new. There are going to be days where they wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and don’t choose the right things to do or say, but in the process of loving them through those tough days, I know my own heart will change. I have a lot of room to grow. These little ones of mine are not meant to be perfect, they are meant to be children. Children have that wonderful uninhibited spirit that loves freely and wildly. They understand love much easier than we adults can. They are quick to forgive and eager to make you laugh, and all in all, they are the remedy to a weary heart. And so, I try again. Not to be a perfect mother, but just the one who loves them to the best she can.
Perspective can do so much for shifting our attitude in the right direction, and so I wrote this out today for me to read and re-read when I have another long snowy or rainy day indoors. Another post for another day….how to take ten for yourself, to re-charge your batteries. Working on that too;)
*Photos from our snow day weekend. My children haven’t seen snow in over a year so you can imagine their excitement to see it fall.