Making time in marriage.

February 15, 2017

I’ve been reading through all of your feedback from the survey we posted (thank you!), and was surprised to see so many requests for more posts on marriage. I haven’t done many recently because I feel so inadequate to write on marriage when I feel like I am still learning so much even 8 years in.

Life has felt very heavy lately as you already know from this recent post and a recent loss. However, my marriage continues to uphold me on the most difficult days. We make mistakes often and still have to apologize frequently, but thankfully at the end of the day we are each other’s resting place.

Here is one tip from each of us for the sake of acknowledging Valentine’s Day (wink) about how we try to keep each other a priority no matter how rough and tough life can become.

Anna: As life gets busier, it will get more difficult to make time for each other. Be stubbornly persistent about holding onto it! I realize connecting with Gabe for even just ten minutes a day can undo a day’s worth of mishaps. We started to make this resolution of time together into small habits.  All it takes is a good ten minute cup of coffee before the kids get up or a re-cap of the days events before bed (and going to bed at the same time!) If we are lucky, a two hour date over sushi on the weekends. My personal favorite? Dancing it out.

Gabe: I am often times mentally and emotionally fried after returning home from work, and as such need a re-set before walking through the front door. After greeting each of the little faces, I make a bee-line for my wife for a good squeeze. Only then do I feel that I can breathe and let go of the work stress. That simple 5 minute habit is something I need to both experience and give before carrying on with the evening.

Side note: We wrote these both separately and by reading them I bet you can guess what our love languages are! ha!

 

We wish you all at least a good dose of valentine’s day sweets today!

 

P.S. I was up a billion times last night on shift for sick kids, and I woke up thankful to have survived the night. When  I walked into the bathroom I found a sink full of roses with a handwritten note. (I’m thinking, “Shoot. All I have going for me is ingredients to make him a cake.”) I went over to the toilet still half awake to also find the above.

Humor in a marriage goes a long way.

Leave a Comment

  • I love the 5 Love Languages and knowing what language we both speak! It has helped our marriage so much!!

  • Love this! It’s so sweet, and I love that Gabe contributed his thoughts too! Rose petals on the toilet are THE super classy way to say “I love you!” ? hope all your littles get to feeling better soon, and you get some much-needed sleep!

  • This is such great advice, it’s so easy to not make time, but I always find that when my husband and I prioritize little bits of time, and make date night a priority, things always are so much better!

    Paige
    http://thehappyflammily.com

  • awww, haha – so cute! Love the rose petals in – of all places – the bathroom. 🙂
    xox
    giedre

  • Such a beautiful and inspiring post, Anna! I really don’t know how you manage it with five little munchkins; you are my inspiration! As a new mom, I struggle at times but we try to stay positive with my husband. We danced a lot on Valentine’s and it was amazing. Before our baby we used to dance so often in the evenings, with candles and good wine…total romance. We realized we hadn’t done any of that for the past six months. So we did a small Valentine’s resolution to try and have our romantic evenings every week, regardless of how tired and exhausted we feel. Couple time is so utterly important for your marriage when you have kids!

    • Hi Severina,
      Oh I hear you. Being a new mother is perhaps the scariest and most intimidating time in life when you are navigating new territory and figuring out how to balance a new person in your life who you love so much. It can take everything out of us emotionally. Thankfully we learn to adjust, but it takes so much patience from both husband and wife. Happy you found some time on V-day! x

  • Stevie L West

    Love this post Anna!

  • Such a sweet post! I was one of those on the survey who requested a little insight on marriage. Also 8 years married (together for 16, friends since 13yrs old ??) it’s nice to hear some inspirational (honest) reflection and thank you for making it a point to say you guys still makes mistakes and apologize a lot. True love is never perfect, right? Takes work, and yes it’s true how important it is to make time. I forget just 10 minutes everyday of geniun time makes such a difference, thanks for that reminder! And both of you guys each writing something, Love that! (Yes you can tell your guys love languages and they’re both great!)
    P.s.
    Dying over the toilet! Too adorable, that tugs at my heart more than the sink flowers and card and I don’t know why! ??
    God Bless

    • Shauna, I so appreciate your comment! I look forward to writing more about marriage. And I agree…the toilet + rose petals was probably my favorite “valentine” to date. 😉

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