Preparing for the new baby.

August 26, 2016

airplanes

 

Not my typical Friday post, but this is what needed to be written this morning. I usually write about motherhood in sporadic moments. When the thoughts come I have to write them down or they are gone as soon as the next distraction comes along. We have just a month left until we meet our newest baby. It is something I am anticipating with great hope and happiness, but to be honest I am a little terrified! Whenever I face a new shift in our lives it is easy for me to get overwhelmed with fear of the unknown. How will I manage two babies 14 months apart in addition to a 3, 5, and 7 year old?! I think as human beings, we easily project our human limitations onto what we think we are capable of, and it is easy to allow those perceptions to run our lives and make our decisions. Thankfully, life events happen that we didn’t necessarily choose (this baby was a bit of a surprise), because usually they end up being something we all are better for in the end. However, it doesn’t mean all of those emotions and feelings that come with the reality aren’t there. 

I am so relieved to have TWO sisters walking through this same milestone providentially at the same time. We all are having/had our 5th babies this year. Something we never planned, but are grateful to experience alongside each other. I have come to learn that my very limited human perception of what might be best for our family is often thrown for a 360 degree spin, and when the dizziness stops, I open my eyes to see what a beautiful reality God chose to give me instead.

 

baby specs
 

I feel like I JUST adjusted to life with four, and we are about to shake things up again! People often ask me how in the world I do it with four children, when one or two is a challenge for them. Well that is because one and two are hard too! I remember how difficult the adjustment to two was, and yet somehow we all grew together in really good ways. Three children almost broke me, until I finally surrendered my desire to try and maintain a perfectly controlled life. I think that freedom of letting go of expectations of what I thought my day should look like, and allowing myself the grace to just be was a huge turning point for me in motherhood. It doesn’t mean the messy floors or sink full of constant dishes doesn’t still make me lose my peace for the day, but I am able to remove myself from the list of things that could or should be done, and just address each day with a flexible perspective.

There are days with order and structure and peace and calm. There are also days of chaos, messes, unexpected bad moods or sickness, or days when the energy just doesn’t show up for me. However, while the new mother version of myself would have panicked on those days, the present day version of me now knows that these days are just opportunities. I know God allows me the chance to step outside myself, and love my family even when we are at our messiest. To draw closer to him and maybe even allow God to carry us through that day. It’s a lesson I so stubbornly had to learn since I am so good at trying to do everything on my own.

 
little ducks
{All my little ducks. Striped shirts from emoi emoi}
 

That being said, despite the feelings of doubt and fear trying to creep their way in before this new shift in life direction, I know deep within me there is already an abundance of grace awaiting me, fueling the sails that will guide us through the peace and the chaos. If you are adding a new one to your family, be assured all of those feelings of overwhelm are just our wonderful human nature that gives us an honest reality that we need more than just ourselves. That even to receive a gift as great as a child requires an open heart and mind and bite size steps of accepting change. Thankful to each of you who stop by here and take part in this adventure with us, and for all of your encouragement along the way!

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend with your friends and families. x

Leave a Comment

  • Love this! This was a much needed read for me as a first time mom. Some days I feel prepared and ready to surrender my current life for a little one. Other days I am terrified and not sure I will be able to handle the lack of sleep and privacy. Thanks so much for this! We are also expecting ours in a month 🙂

    • Hi Sophie,
      Can’t wait for you to experience those first few moments with your little one. I know it is so hard to fathom now, but hopefully all the worry will be wiped away once you are holding your sweet one:)
      x

  • I am due October 12 with my second son. While I’m sure my days won’t be as busy as yours, this will be a transition for us. Our first son has had us to himself for four years and adding a baby to the mix will surely stir the pot! But, I am anxiously awaiting how our family will grow and change from this experience. Thanks for the great post. What a good reminder that all will be as it should be no matter how much stress I allow in!

    • Kerstin, that is definitely a tough adjustment for a 4 year old, but hopefully your son will fall in love with that baby just as much as you do. It was toughest to understand for my two year olds, but when my little ones reached four and five, the excitement for a new baby was precious to see. Thanks for the kind comment! Thinking of you!

  • Love this so much!!

  • So beautifully said. I’m feeling similarly welcoming our fourth at Christmas!

    • Been thinking of you Nell! What a magical Christmas it will be. Even though it may be a little foggy;) Just don’t forget to ask for help when you need it and lean on friends a little if you have to. x

  • Thank you so much for this sweet reminder. Our third was born almost a year ago and brought with him some special needs…It has been a long year, and anytime I read things like what you wrote God uses it to remind me of the importance of just enjoying the gifts that are our children. Like you said, as moms it is so easy to get caught up in our own expectations instead of expectantly awaiting what God is going to do. I hope you are able to rest in God’s grace as you you prepare to welcome a precious new little babe into your family.

    • Kimberly, I know how tough adjusting to three was for me, and I am sure it is even more so when there are special needs involved. Sometimes I think we love our children so intensely that it’s hard to allow ourselves any slack in the process or pause to see past the intense highs and lows. Thank you so much for the kind words. Rooting for you! You will be in my prayers. Keep me in yours! x

  • I am pregnant with our fifth right now, also. We have an 11 year old, a 3 year old, a 2 year old, a 10 month old (all 15 months apart), and a baby due late February (17 months apart). I homeschooling our 11 year old and 3 year old. Grace and coffee are what get me through every day. (I bought the mug!) And prayer, lots and lots of flare prayers. Prayers of thanks, of asking for help, of whining, of pleading… You will make it, too. Bedtime is the best time of the day. 🙂 The relationship between Rocco and the newest will bring you to tears– you will love it.

  • such a beautiful piece! thank you, as I am also in the last few weeks of adding my #3.

  • So beautifully written. What a beautiful gift to your family this new little one will be. Thanks for sharing both the struggle and your wisdom in coping with the fear.

    I especially like thinking of the fear as an opportunity to open our hearts and minds wider for the new life.

    I was recently writing on a similar topic. http://thesaltstories.com/it-is-okay-if-you-are-scared-to-have-a-kid/

  • So beautiful Anna!! I know God wouldn’t give you this gift without a beautiful purpose and knowing you are the right one to raise these littles. I hear you though, the adjustment to four this year was the really big one for me… All hard but I think this was the one that almost broke me. Thank you for opening up! And I can’t wait to see that newest little one. 🙂

  • Hannah (Zuniga) Murasko

    Hi cousin!
    I look at our Zuniga family and constantly ask myself how all of my aunts and uncles and now cousins do it? How do they manage so many children?? I always wanted 3 and can barely manage 2! This post is my very favorite one that you’ve ever written because it truly shows your truth, honestly and commitment to God. It’s reassuring and enlightening, comforting and calming. To know that it can be done with a reminder that God is here to walk us through it. It’s hard to just put our lives in His hands because (I firmly believe it’s the Zuniga gene!) we so badly want to be in control ourselves, without help. Thank you for this. Love you!

  • Pat Schwab

    Your new baby is blessed to be part of your family. Pat S

  • What a lovely post. I am expecting baby number 2 in November and with just 11 weeks to go I am starting to have those “How am I going to do it all?” thoughts. One thing I’ve learned with motherhood is that every day is a new day. No matter what happened the day before, the next morning you can wake up with fresh eyes and an open heart and know that tomorrow will be completely different to yesterday, which is reassuring in itself. Something I’ll need to remind myself of a lot when I’m in that newborn haze of exhaustion and feeding and middle of the night settling!

  • This is lovely, and wow you guys are going to be busy! One more beauty to add to the bunch.

    Buckets & Spades

  • […] After a weekend of hosting family who had just moved to town, I admit I was probably on my feet more that I should have been, and went to bed pretty zonked on Sunday night. I was having very restless dreams and kept being woken up by what I thought braxton hicks contractions. I finally acknowledged that they might be something more than that since they were getting painful. I started to panic slightly since I didn’t have a hospital bag packed, so at 5am, I got up and started pacing…. and packing. Never underestimate what the adrenaline of a woman in early labor can do! That bag was packed in ten minutes flat without missing a single needed item. Gabe woke up to get ready for work, and was slightly confused over the sight of his wife buzzing around the room at such an hour. After calling the doctor for advice on what to do, we called up family to stay with the kids so we could head to the hospital. My mind was spinning, as I tried to process what was happening. I wrote a goodbye note to my kids, squeezed Rocco extra tight as tears welled up in my eyes, and walked away from the house with the feeling it wouldn’t quite be the same when I returned. That life was about to shift sails.  […]

  • Oh how I appreciated this post!! I had forgotten that I had it pulled up on my phone to read and just found it again. Love that turning point you talked about in letting go. My oldest sister said that’s what happened when she went from 3 to 4 kids! Thanks for sharing and I pray you are doing well as you are adjusting to this new stage of motherhood!! xx

    • Thank you so much Emily! We are definitely in that phase of finding our new groove, so allowing myself the grace to make lots of mistakes. Soaking in my new baby as much as possible and not sweating the small stuff. Thanks for reading! x

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