Taking a break from work this month gave me permission to actually write and post without the self imposed pressures or expectations! I can actually write more for my own personal self reflection and enjoyment, and share it for any of you still actually read blogs;)
As I wrapped the 30 Day decluttering effort, I found myself sitting with the realization that for so long I have desired rest without knowing how to actually rest. In theory, it is easy to opt for a peaceful and slow advent leading up to our favorite holiday, but in practice it has felt impossible for me to put into practice in the past. Last year, I was determined to slow down so we worked really hard to wrap everything up early, but I pushed myself a little too hard. My body shut down not long after and the flu took me out for several days before the New Year. Once again, I stepped into January exhausted, burned out, and determined to start over with better habits this year.
Starting 2018 with the perspective that my productivity vs. rest habits sorely needed addressing, I knew I had to put new boundaries and practices into place. Old habits die hard, but I was determined to break out of the patterns of stress and burn out. The way we care for our bodies, minds, and souls are so closely knit. When one is under nourished, you can almost count on the others following suit. This mind shift ended up preparing me for the months following when we went through pregnancy and loss. I knew that slowing down was imperative to healing.
This year turned out to be one of the most personally challenging of my life, and yet as I stand here facing the last month of 2018, I have so much gratitude for the perspective shift it has allowed. December is usually a big month for bloggers and partnerships, but I knew this year I needed to put on the breaks, and in doing so I feel like I can finally see and understand what is happening right around me. When I observe my children, I notice how slow and un-rushed their little worlds are. It is simple, pure, and happy. I have such a strong desire to step into it and be a part of it this December with them.
I just started this book that a friend recommended. I am not far enough into it to give an honest review, but I can say the first few pages were an uncanny mirror of everything I have felt, but haven’t had the words to say.
“In a society that endorses activity, I think we would all do well to put more trust in stillness. No matter how busy we are, we can find meaning and renewal in those moments that are available to us. We can come together in an intimate way, even at the end of a long, draining day, if we are willing to be fully present with our children – to make the time to hear their confidences and to respond from the heart. We can teach them the value of a deep breath, of a spiritual pause, of rest, if we take the time to learn it ourselves. When I come to a stop myself, when I draw a circle of stillness around me, my children are drawn into that peaceful place. They visibly relax as if my calmness nourishes them. The impact of just a few minutes of quiet attention can be profound, changing the mood of the entire day, restoring equilibrium…” – Katrina Kenison
These photos from last night, doing a simple family tradition…decorating our tree with tacky and nostalgic ornaments, Bing Crosby on the record player, and hot cocoa. The tree during advent (which means “coming”) has always been a reminder of the preparation, waiting, and hope that comes with Christmas. And so as I take this time of rest with my family, I await Christmas like my children – with joy filled anticipation for the greatest morning of the year.
