Our birth plan. (Or lack thereof)

June 18, 2015

via In Honor of Design

I usually chuckle when I get an email asking how I manage and balance everything so well. I make sure to assure them, I don’t know what those words mean most of the time.
Now I may have editorial content for the blog lined up a month ahead of time, as well as perfectly prioritized to-do list.  I am an expert at planning a trip itinerary in advance. I can plan a party down to the detail. I can even have all of the families work, school, or just for fun events entered as alarms in my phone two or three times to ensure we don’t forget.
However, unless organization is required, I tend to fly by the seat of my pants.

Most of the time, I couldn’t tell you what we are having for dinner the next day, more or less what we are having that night. 
We don’t make weekend plans till Friday at 4pm. 
In fact, we have our friends sign a flexibility disclosure that we may not be able to secure hang out plans till the day or hour before. (wink)
And don’t even bother asking me where each child will go to school and when. We don’t know these complex things till forms are due, and decisions MUST be made.

However, there are some things that require advance notice and a little more thought out organization than hour by hour…
For instance, a birth plan. Or lack thereof…

Did you have a birth plan for your first child? What about the second or third?
I realize that you are either a planner or you are…………….not.
Now after reading the before mentioned, can you guess which category I fall under?
If you guessed that I never have a birth plan, you are just about right. He knew!
My theory tends to be that if you make a plan for the birth of a child, that child likes to spite you, and prove you they have more of a personality than predictability. I decided to go into my first two births with an open mind, and let these babies come when they were ready, in the way they wanted to. This was probably a good thing considering the way each birth happened.

Even though all three of mine came on their due dates, they came in very different ways. My labor with Gabriel started off in a crazy way, but ended up in a paced and peaceful delivery post epidural. Veronica came quicker than expected and without the ability to choose medication. If I had any sort of plan in place, it never would have happened because of the nature of both deliveries. However, I decided maybe I would try out some sort of a birth plan for my third pregnancy and hope this would give me a little bit more control over the result this time. Ha! Max the moose surely laughed. My planned water birth never happened.

You can imagine why a making any sort of plan for the birth of my fourth is probably unnecessary. However, I do have a goal. GET TO THE HOSPITAL ON TIME. With how fast Max came, I am afraid I might have to pitch a tent in the hospital parking lot the week before my due date to ensure Gabe isn’t delivering the baby on the side of the road. Which apparantly, Gabe is perfectly fine with (can I have some of that ease of mind please?).

So there you have it my friends. No birth plan, but to call my midwife with the first contraction, and get myself to the hospital in a timely manner. I may just opt for that epidural too if I was so lucky as to have the option this time;)

Speaking of birth stories, I LOVE to read them. Especially right before giving birth myself which makes no sense whatsoever. I am a glutton for self – antagonization I guess, as I am also busting through seasons of Call the Midwife.Leave me some links if you have some good ones!

*Dress (non-maternity) by Free People c/o Shopbop, a fun similar one here.

Leave a Comment

  • I love this! Your description of yourself is so endearingly well, YOU, that it made me smile! 🙂
    I’m lucky like you and have really quick labors so perhaps you should just go the route we chose and have a planned home birth! 😉 With baby #3, instead of racing to the hospital once my labor started I got to stay home while the midwives raced to me (and made it JUST in time)!
    You & your bump look beautiful – so curious what you are having!

    • Laura, ha ha! I know you must remember the late nights out and early rises for swim practice;) Didn’t plan those days very well, but it was a blast!

      I was so close to doing a home birth! I think we could do it if we needed to though and it actually would be nice to be able to sleep for 5 hours in a row with no interruptions that first night!

      I am royally confused at the moment of what we are having. Dying to know!

  • Hi!
    You should follow #instabirthstory. It’s amazing.
    I also have four kids and never had a birthplan … And I also just wanted to get to the hospital on time, with my first I almost didn’t… Only 30 minutes in hospital and I had a baby in my arms!
    Greetings form Finland, you are such a sweet family!

  • I did the same thing in my third trimester with both of my babies. I obsessively read birth stories and usually ended up crying reading each one.

    Here is my birth story with our first little one.
    http://engineeredperfection.blogspot.com/2014/12/chloes-birth-story_11.html

    • It gets especially bad when I can’t sleep at night. 😉 I read your birth story! Wow, a fever and all! You are a champ! I love the name Chloe too:)

  • Chaile Allen

    I love hearing birth stories too! Every single one I heard has been so different. I have one son who is six months old and my whole pregnancy I had envisioned this perfect natural birth. Then with every passing ultrasound we realized he was still breech and had no intention of turning! He was comfy head up from the get go and even though I tried many different ways he never would turn. I ended up having a scheduled c-section which in the end was a lot of fun. We were able to make sure all our family made it in from out of town on time and it was like a party in my room before they took me back to the OR. I will always cherish that time we had as a family anticipating his arrival. And while the section recovery wasn’t exactly a walk in the park it also wasn’t as bad as everyone had it made out to be.

    • I think that is probably why I was hesitant to ever have a birth plan because I know it would make it hard to change plans so quick if needed. I love your perspective on making the most of the change in plans and how cool that you had a good experience out of something that could have been difficult to accept. Thanks for sharing:-)

  • I read so many birth stories leading up to the birth of my son – every single one of them left me in tears after! I thought I would go ahead and share mine.. http://lovecourtxoxo.com/2015/05/15/bringing-del-eugene-coleman-earthside/

    Enjoy this last little bit of your pregnancy (easier said than done, I know). *hugs*

  • My first was a hospital birth. I wanted natural labor; God said no. My water broke before my contractions started, which put me on the Pitocin path, which led straight to an epidural. And after 19 hours, of which I endured 15 without an epidural and wall Pitocin contractions, my first daughter was born. We don’t find gender out ahead of time and I was convinced it was a boy– boy name on the wall and everything.

    Although my hospital birth wasn’t a horror story, it was just not what I wanted. So when I found out I was pregnant with my second, I opted to have a home birth. It was the most amazing experience of our lives. Baby #2 was another girl and God was with us during the entire experience.

    Baby #3 is due to relocate early October and we’re having another home birth. Can’t imagine delivering babies any other way! 🙂

  • you are gorgeous my friend and i am so excited for you!

    xo,
    Sandy
    Sandy a la Mode

  • I am due exactly the Same time as you with baby #3 so this post made me a little nervous … Lol but I can’t help but read birth stories too right now! So many what ifs! I left my last birth story (from our old blog) in the link above … It was the best ever and I can only hope this #3 can top it … Ha no pressure huh? Prayers for your next delivery!!

  • I loved this post! I too, love reading birth stories. I had a birth plan with my first pregnancy and of course, it went completely nothing near to the plan. And then with the second no birth plan besides a c-section.

    Hope you have a great weekend!

    xo

    Elda

  • I AM a planner and my personal opinion is, letting go of control during birth is the best way to feel like I have control. I only have one child and through his birth I realized, other than praying and doing my best to stay calm and control my emotional state, I had little control over anything. So I like your style! This did feel uncomfortable to me at times, but I learned my body knew better than my mind. Good luck!

    Here’s my birth story – http://jellybeanjournals.com/our-birth-story-part-i/ and http://jellybeanjournals.com/ns-birth-story-part-ii/.

    • Oh absolutely! What a game changer it is emotionally and physically when you can just allow your body to tell you what is best. Can’t wait to read your birth story!

  • ummm I love this dress beautiful! I just had my 2nd daughter a few months ago and had a pretty good experience! same as you with hoping to make it to birth center, but then had much more time than I thought (http://auroravilchis.com/a-birth-story-dallas-rain/). prayers for precious baby love’s birth!

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