After the move back to Atlanta, having a new baby, running a business, blog, designing, a little teaching on the side, and wanting to have dinner on the table, I was crumbling inside. I was so irritable and tired by the time Gabe would get home from work. I felt I was being torn in twenty directions and not able to give the best of my self to any one thing. I was a half-hearted, spread to thin, tired mess. Our house was always taking a back seat to the to-do list, and I was close to hiring a maid. I was shedding lots of tears over not being able to spend much time with my children. Something had to give…
I got real with myself. Supermom doesn’t exist – so I should stop trying to be her. I accepted the fact that it would be impossible to do everything well and with a smile on my face. If I wasn’t giving the best of myself to my kids and husband, than nothing I was doing was worth it. So, I wrapped up my accessory business and put it away. I started setting realistic expectations for myself. No more over committing to graphic design projects. I started to utilize my crockpot more. I returned to taking a few moments before the kids got up to sit in quiet and prayer. I accepted the fact that my house doesn’t need to be sparkly clean at all times (darn that electrolux commercial), and that it was okay if the laundry sat unfolded for a week. I tried breaking the expectations I put on myself that I needed to do it all on my own and perfectly. Gabe reminds me often that we are a team, and we should always be working together. He cooks dinner when my day has been especially crazy, or will pick up kitchen duty when he notices that stressed look on my face – even though he has been working all day as well. He is one of my secrets to how I do it all. Supportive and loving…I look up to him in many ways.
I can breathe easier now that I have accepted the fact that I can’t be Supermom. Its good for everyone to remember to be careful who you compare yourself to. Every family has different dynamics to take into account. Like I mentioned here, I can’t wait to work off our medical debt and student loans so I can be with my kids more. That is my motivation that allows me to work so hard. There are still lots of late nights, and moments of frustration when I feel like the juggling act is going to crash down upon me, but at least now I would accept that its okay if it did. Life is full of give and take, ups and downs, and fleeting moments. Whats most important is the attitude in which I face them. I want my children to always feel they are my priority, and to always have a sense of peace and comfort in their home. This is more important to me than my to do list and all the goals I set. And seriously - raise your hand if you ever have your to-do list fulfilled?
I would love to hear your story. Have you struggled with this before? How do you fight the Supermom expectations? Do you have ways you try to balance it all? Looking forward to chatting with you all!
*photos taken on mothers day, after this outfit shoot.